Don’t judge me.

Cue music spam. This blog is about to get less wordy in favor of mindlessly cataloging what I’m into.

Everything Everything - Cough Cough

Headphones loud. YES. ALMOST TANGIBLE BAROQUE AND ENDLESS POUNDING REALMS OF YES.

Annie Mac / Jessie Ware - Running

Stick that in your pipe and fuck it.

Rainy Milo - ‘Bout You

Get this all up in your sexytime playlist right now goddamn.

Drake / Rihanna - Take Care

I’ve been trying to work out for a long time what bugs me so much about this track. Partially, it’s that Jamie xx has put his name to it and it doesn’t blow my mind: this never happens. But what’s properly frustrating is that the Gil/Jamie ‘I’ll Take Care of You’ begs for a rapper to grab it by the balls and the opportunity has been wasted on Drake. Can you imagine if someone with flow and/or personality was paired with that production? The whole world would spontaneously orgasm. These are facts.

Rihanna has exactly the right range for this and the tired throaty delivery would be fucking magical against some power from Drake, but all we get from him is his standard pseudo-sincere eyebrow crinkle and low soft palate crooning. The closest he gets to vehemence is when he goes super nasal and makes vaguely aggressive gestures. His most powerful performance happens at the breakdown when miming to Gil’s voice and actually, he moves really well, through the whole song his body language tells a far more interesting story than his voice. I wonder if he might be compelling live? But fuck it I’m critiquing the song here not the video and in conclusion, DRAKE SUX.

I kind of like the video. Not even slow motion gorgeous studio setups and Hedi Slimane-filtery shots can save it from devastating mediocrity though.

Drake is the Legolas of rap.

Edit: Just read about how Drake threw a bottle as Chris Brown’s head. Respect levels boosted.